Couples Therapy > Relational Life Therapy


Relational Life Therapy (RLT)

Relational Life Therapy is the 21st century solution to an "endangered species;" that is, marriage.

By Dan Pollets. With divorce rates hovering around 50%, new skills and beliefs are needed by partners for the relationship to continue in harmony over the life-span. RLT has a specific technology to help couples learn these skills. Relational skills are crucial to learn for couples recovering from an affair or traumatic event. Learning relational skills can help enhance relationships suffering from the “doldrums,” with passion and energy at low ebb.

In RLT, the therapist is active and relentless in identifying the “losing strategies” and diagnosing the maladaptive, defeatist and negative “dance” that defines the couples’ interactions. Once partners can see how they both contribute to the repetitive conflict or fight, they are ready to understand the relevance of family of origin to relationship dynamics. Work then moves to teaching the relational skills and “winning strategies.” Using this therapy, couples can expect significant change in their relationship in three to six months. Learn about Relational Life Therapy

RLT teaches that intimacy is a practice and the relational skills that are necessary for enhanced intimacy can be taught. Relationships often go out of harmony (into disharmony) as part of flow of life. However, a couple needs to know how to repair disharmony so that good relations and emotional connectedness can be restored. RLT is a skills-based treatment yet attuned to the emotional connection between partners and amplifies this when in question. The therapist names what is “deformed” about the relationship, explains what relationship defeating behaviors are being enacted and then provides the tools to correct the problematic relational behavior.